I teach people how to write their life stories and now and again my students write something that upsets them and deeply moves those who hear it during the feedback sessions. Of course, it can make us cry when we remember painful events that we are now reliving by writing them down. But I think that is good. When I get goosebumps, to me, that’s a sign of great writing. Often, emotion bubbles up while we are writing and that scares us. Our tears make us doubt whether our words are appropriate, whether they are that bit too real, too authentic, too revealing. When this happens, it can lead us to censor our words, hold back and protect ourselves.  I know, it happens to me too. Only I welcome those moments.

After more than 20 years as a writer and a teacher of writing I have come to learn that it is the material we produce that is authentic, emotionally charged (often painful) and real that is our best work. It is this writing that resonates with others.

You know, if writing something is emotional, reading it aloud can be worse. Earlier this year I wrote a poem to my mother, which I planned to recite as a surprise at her Golden Wedding party. Several people who had read preview copies of my book, ‘A Moving Landscape’, in which it was to appear, told me how they too had ended up in floods of tears when they read those lines. I practised and practised, knowing that there was one particular stanza that made me cry every time. I tried to practise so hard that my emotion would go away.  I braced myself, stood up in front of 40 guests and began. My throat began to constrict as I approached the troublesome lines and read:

‘I see you in the mirror,

when I trace the lines upon my face.

I see you when my children stoop

to hold you in embrace.’

But directly after the second line, above, my mother interrupted:

“Well, that’s charming!” she butted in, offended that I should have mentioned her wrinkles. The room filled with laughter and my tears never came. I was disappointed. Part of me had wanted to cry, knowing that my emotion would enhance the meaning and show everyone how much I love my mother.

Since then, I have encouraged my students more than ever to write from the heart. To write material that makes them sad, allowing them to feel the pain all over again as they write it, again when they recite it in class and again every time they dare to share it. There are several reasons for this and none of them related to the fact that I like to watch people suffer. Not only is emotion cathartic but writing material that is raw and natural has a much better chance of touching the listener or the reader.

So, next time you baulk at the thought of exposing yourself and writing stuff that is too deep or too strong, ignore that inner critic and do it anyway. I think you will find you just wrote your best work.